Last week, Rebecca and I flew to Colorado and New Mexico for some time away to enjoy one another, rest up, and to be among friends. The trip was amazing and we definitely came back well rested. We missed our home and our church. We hung out in the mountains of Colorado and then in the quiet desert of Albuquerque and it'll be a trip I'll never forget, except that I want to forget some of it.

I hate flying.

I HATE flying.

I think it's one of the few things that I am deeply afraid of. Honestly, it feels good to say that because it's something that I get embarrassed about. Many of my friends love being in the air not only because you can be anywhere in a short amount of time but because they simply enjoy it. For me, being in the air has my anxiety at an all time high.

Flying was definitely a large topic of discussion this week so I thought I'd put it all out on the table and write on a few truths that don't comfort me. To begin, I understand the mechanics of the flight and plane. When I lived in Denton, I had a friend who was a pilot and would tell me how much planes have to go through in order to be approved to be in the air; all of the tests and trials. That didn't help.

I've been told that all of the bumps in the air are no different than when I hit bumps on the road while driving. The pilots are in constant communication with other planes, towers, and wouldn't jeopardize the lives of their co-pilot, staff, and passengers. And I get that--except I'm not at 38,000 feet in a sardine can in the air when I'm driving.

I was encouraged by a friend that the last time I flew has nothing to do with who I now am; a husband, a father, a pastor. And all I could think of was that I had way much more to lose now than I did as a single dude.

I am well aware of the statistics like you're more likely to be in an accident while driving or something like 1 out of every 250,000 planes actually crash. That's not helpful for that one plane that I MIGHT be on.

Outside of my fear, I did, however, find comfort knowing that several other friends have some major anxiety about flying. That made me feel better because I didn't feel weird expressing my fear with them and simply didn't feel alone.

I get it. My fear is nuts, irrational, and a little over the top. But what I've learned is that no amount of flying, statistics, or experiences are big enough to conquer my fear. The reality is that there are times that I will have to fly to get somewhere; I won't be able to get around it. And the truth is that I need to find comfort and peace in who Jesus is, who He says I am, and in the promises of his Word.

I need to wrap myself around that precise and marvelous truth so that when I'm digging my nails into my skin, freaking out, and hating all things turbulent I can believe that.

My only comfort in life and in death is that I am not my own, but belong--body and soul, in life and in death, to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood, and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil. He also watches over me in such a way that not a hair can fall from my head without the will of my Father in heaven; in fact, all things must work together for my salvation. Because I belong to him, Christ, by His Holy Spirit, assures me of eternal life and makes me whole-heartedly willing and ready from now on to live for him.
- Heidelberg Catechism, Lord's Day 1

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